This is simply charming. The jazz music in space is a daring and effective departure from clichés, and that syncopated bass riff keeps me alert as that smooth Hammond establishes a mood of cool mystery. The verbal irony complements the technocratic banter in a manner that satisfies both halves of my brain. You’ve unlocked an achievement I am calling “The X-files Appeal”: illustrating two halves of one personality through the voices of two friends and coworkers. That, coupled with the jazz, makes this oddly sexy (for a sapiosexual). My only recommendation would be to find a proofreader (preferably a native speaker) to edit your prose. As I have said: it’s good. Yet there are a few blaring blemishes which are especially noticeable because of how engaging the story is. Aside from that, I would rank this up there with Philip K. Dick in terms of science fiction concepts, even if the trope is a little trite. It’s definitely one of the smoother submissions to this Game Jam.
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This is simply charming. The jazz music in space is a daring and effective departure from clichés, and that syncopated bass riff keeps me alert as that smooth Hammond establishes a mood of cool mystery. The verbal irony complements the technocratic banter in a manner that satisfies both halves of my brain. You’ve unlocked an achievement I am calling “The X-files Appeal”: illustrating two halves of one personality through the voices of two friends and coworkers. That, coupled with the jazz, makes this oddly sexy (for a sapiosexual). My only recommendation would be to find a proofreader (preferably a native speaker) to edit your prose. As I have said: it’s good. Yet there are a few blaring blemishes which are especially noticeable because of how engaging the story is. Aside from that, I would rank this up there with Philip K. Dick in terms of science fiction concepts, even if the trope is a little trite. It’s definitely one of the smoother submissions to this Game Jam.
[({L.J.)}]
Aaaaa, thank you! >A< Thank you so much for playing the demo and for the feedback!
It's been a while since I wrote something in English. I'll definitely ask for proofreader help after this.
Thank you again! :D